It’s one of the most notable aspects of entrepreneurs in the fitness and coaching niches that I have come to identify over the years, and one of the most powerful characteristics that seems to tie us all together: we are a force of nature.
We don’t do what we do, simply because we want to feel comfortable, safe, and secure. If we wanted comfort, safety, and security, then we would have taken the road MOST traveled, and not the one less traveled. The rat race might not guarantee cheese, but at least the maze has little white fences that offer the illusion of protection -and this illusion is a sedative that only makes entrepreneurs feel anxious and unfulfilled. We feel more at home in leaping off the table and making a break for the hole in the laboratory wall.
The very nature of the entrepreneurial mindset is one that takes risks in order to see the multiplication of its gains. So, in essence, entrepreneurs are risk conquerors, (or ‘table hoppers’, whichever you prefer).
The Difference Between Critics and Leaders
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
-Mark Twain
As a personal fitness trainer, you’ve seen this same force at work first hand: it’s the stuff that pushes your clients over the edge and into success. It’s when they put aside the criticisms of others …and especially, the critic inside themselves… do they finally realize that the psychological fence even exists.
That’s when your clients’ bodies are nothing more than the vehicle, which propels them to keep pushing, shedding one pound after another, toning and burning; and afterwards, they reap the rewards for doing so. They learn that they’re more than just their bodies, because they’re also a force of nature like we are. And this is why personal trainers tend to make the very best of entrepreneurs, because they are true leaders. Just think about how many critics and naysayers that your clients have had to deal with. You’ve heard the stories, right? They’re everywhere, aren’t they?
But how many, as Mark Twain put it, made them feel that they, “too, can become great”?
Of course, you’re not going to flatter them, saying that they’re are in top shape, even though that might not be true. No, you’re going to give them an accurate picture of reality, but you’re not doing this to tear them down. You’re doing this to build them up.
As an entrepreneur, one of the greatest skills in defeating your own naysayers is rooted in the ability to discern between a true leader and a mere critic. Here’s the key to solving this riddle:
- A critic will tear you down, attacking your goals and ideas for their personal, psychological, or financial gain or security.
- A leader will build you up, reinforcing your goals and ideas in light of reality -and do so to your ultimate benefit.
The more your clients listen to you, the faster they’ll get where they want to go. The same goes for the leaders in your life.
However, I still believe that you should listen to both, your critics, and your leaders -but only let the latter influence your overarching point of view.
Knowledge Is Everywhere. Wisdom Is Scarce
“In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
The above quote has got to be one of my life-long favorites, simply because you never know where your next great idea or epiphany will come from. Also, offering respect to everyone you meet is the best way to silence most of the general negativity that comes against you, making it easier for you to mentally separate the critics from the leaders.
However, in the event that you’re being unfairly criticized or ridiculed, don’t simply block out the noise. Listen to it, and give yourself a real, objective, concrete evaluation, based on the data presented in the criticism itself. A good entrepreneur friend of mine always told me to take these two steps when I’d get criticized by a bona fide critic…
- Ask yourself: is it true? (Is their argument valid, and could they possibly have a point? While they might be attacking you for selfish gain, you don’t want to ignore a very real problem. Being honest with yourself is the fastest way to become self-aware and teachable.)
- Figure out how next to proceed…
- If your assessment comes back positive, and your critic was correct -then take these criticisms to a role model, a leader, and get a second opinion.
- If your assessment comes back false -then you can discredit that critic entirely. And make sure you STOP LISTENING to them from now on.
If that critic had been correct all along, and you decided to proceed without making a real assessment, then that’s a great way to end up with regrets. Refusing to see the truth of a surefire inbound failure, simply because you had identified that person as a mere critic, could also have you solidifying doubts in your own abilities -and that’s the worst possible end result.
That’s why I’m a firm believer in identifying good role models, solid leaders, so that you can rely upon them in these situations. Second opinions can solidify your own assessments, and your confidence along with it.
With that said, sometimes critics are just …critics. And even though their arguments are complete horse hockey, you’re just not convincing them of anything to the contrary. Their mind is already set on your failure (and their heart is likely set on it as well).
Now it’s time to trust your gut. Here’s why.
Why You Should Trust Your Gut (Without Peer Approval)
“The more we refuse to buy into our inner critics – and our external ones too – the easier it will get to have confidence in our choices, and to feel comfortable with who we are – as women and as mothers.”
-Arianna Huffington
My inspiration for writing this post, comes from my disdain for certain mind-numbing stereotypes that have absolutely nothing to do with business (and everything to do with the fact that they’re mind-numbing stereotypes). Not only are these prejudicial limitations toxic for any company, they’re also cancerous to an entire economy. For instance, take a look this excerpt from Forbes:
“On average, men are 60 percent more likely to receive funding for their companies than women, even though women have a roughly 50 percent higher rate of return on their investment, according to angel investor and other festival co-chair Joanne Wilson.”
This is absolute absurdity; nevertheless, for those of you who are female entrepreneurs out there -it looks as if the cards are stacked against you, even in trying to find investors. With that said, Arianna Huffington’s quote should resound in a very useful way.
You’ve got to trust your gut, and in this society, make sure you do so with confidence. Perhaps that’s why the 40% of women, who do receive startup funding, will outperform men by 50%. Also, perhaps that’s the case, because you aren’t in business to seek popular approval -you’re doing this to build something great. Those are two very different goals. In fact, even if you’re attempting to do the latter, popular approval can actually harm your ability to see your goals come to fruition. How so? Well, do you remember that ‘force of nature’ I was previously talking about? I’m talking to you too now, guys.
According to Bruna Martinuzzi of OpenForum, talking about your goals can, in a sense, spring a leak in your willpower energy. Here’s what she wrote…
“This is because our brain mistakes the talking for the doing. In other words, the gratification that we receive from the social acknowledgment tricks our brain into feeling that the goal has already been accomplished.”
She was essentially discussing a principle that was featured in the TEDTalks video with Derek Sivers, which tells us to keep our goals out of view and off our lips. While there are fairly complex psychological findings involved in this, I believe it fundamentally comes down to our ‘force of nature’.
This force will go wherever you want it to, where your will says it should go. In a way, it’s sort of like a water balloon: if you’re punching little holes in it, then by the time you go to throw that balloon at your water gun-toting 8-year-old, then it’s just going to bounce off the kiddo and fall flat on the grass.
But if you were to fill it to max capacity, retaining every last ounce of H20 inside -then you’ll have enough force to get your child drenched from head to toe when that hydration bomb makes impact. Mission accomplished. Ok, cheesy father-offspring water war analogy aside, my points here are as follows…
- You don’t need to impress anybody, and trying to do so will only cause you to expend your supply of willpower energy.
- If you keep your goals to yourself, then you’ll retain that energy, applying it to the maximum possible impact.
- Trust your gut. You know your business the way nobody else does; and because of that fact, you can put aside doubts in your own expertise. You ARE the professional.
The only approval you should ever consider to be valid is from your role models from yourself. All other outside feedback should be objectively evaluated for the sole purpose of challenging or confirming your ideas, and that should only be through the filter of your role model’s second opinion.
Energy Follows Thought
You have all the energy you need to be your own ego-booster, so you don’t need to rely on anybody else for that. Understand that energy follows thought, and if you release your thoughts, or allow the negative or destructive thoughts of others to influence yours, then that’s going to end up depleting your force.
Besides, the truly impressive part comes when your energy reaches critical mass, and your goal creates shockwaves of disruption throughout the marketplace. After that happens, then let’s hear what others have to say. At least, by that point, you won’t have to question if they’re telling you the truth.
And your secret was that you confidently knew that your success was going to happen all along. Well played.
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